


All of the fic is written in bad English

by Um_Lol



Series: Moon’s Crack Fics [1]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Crack, F/F, I can’t even read it myself, Minor Character Death, Self-aware Veronica Sawyer, She is so confused, Terrible narrator, The Heatheners, Their solids teflon, Unreliable Narrator, but a few people die in this, for like a few sentences, oh and anne boleyn is in this, this is so unreadable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Um_Lol/pseuds/Um_Lol
Summary: This is all written is terrible English. The only thing you can read is Veronica’s dialogue and thoughts. The rest is...unreadable. I am sorry.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Heather Duke/Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer, implied poly heathers
Series: Moon’s Crack Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868116
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	All of the fic is written in bad English

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SORRY. I AM SO SORRY. HOPE YOU ENJOY?

Its a normaled day at Westerburg heightschool. Vercumica could be sawn walksing to schooles.

“Wait a second, what did the narrator just say? Heightschool? What does that mean? And my name!” I saided, gigglered a bitty.

Did it just switch to first person? What’s going on? Hopefully Moon isn’t going crazy. Do not make this one if your weird crack fics! There’s no way this is happening. Don’t get excited, that wasn’t a reference to SIX, wrong musical. Still though, why did it change to my-

Vernoica’s walked downer the streeter, and saw Dason Jean. Veronoca laughtered a lot, for unknowned reasonz.

“Ok, first off, that’s not how you spell my name. Second off, who the fuck is Dason Jean? Moon, what the fuck have you done?” Rommie askered.

“Hewwo, I am Dason Jean UWU. I is edged boyfriend. OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.” Dason sksksksksaid.

“What the fuck have you done to my boyfriend? I mean, he’s kinda there to make me look straight, but really? He’s not Quince, is he?” Teh worst Heathener exclaimered.

“Our love is UWU. <3<3<3<3.” Dason Jean lovederly says.

“Narrator, I am not the worst...Heather? Why is it spelled as Heathener? And what did you just say JD?” Ronerca assked.

“OWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOEKHELLODIDBCIWNKSDAJFJDDJHDH **FUCKMYDAD** NENHFJEN **IAMGAY** XIJDJKSK **PLZKUDOS** FIENENDI.”

“I think I broke him, let’s see if my girlfriends- I mean my friends- I MEAN THE HEATHERS are any better.” The worstester among the Heathensers saided.

Vercorona could been hearded buttering to herselfs. Water is she sayded?

“I do not understand a word narrator is saying. I am concerned. What the hell?” Versonica asketh the author.

Shem walksing downsy the roadsy along with UWU boyfriend DJ and getted to Westerburg heightschool. We all hatest the Veronixa, or at least Narrator doesed. I meaned, she dids not capitaled my name, how _rudey!1!1!!!1_

“I didn’t know you wanted your name capitalised, Narrator.” The beetch sayers.

Thamk you. Do apeashiate the kindesterness. Anywaysksksksksksks, storytime.

“Moon, did you hire a fucking 7 year old to narrate this?” Romnie whippered.

_Mate, just deal with it. Your girlfriends are fine, JD- I mean DJ is just a bit crazy._

“They’re not my girlfriends. At least I don’t have to deal with their crazy shit. Also, don’t call me mate, weirdo.” Vewwonica relivably sighered.

_Fine then, lesbian._

“I- fuck you.” Veronnie butters, blushers like synonym rolled she is.

Her orbeezo widens. They closet again. Why did they closeder?

“To everyone reading this, can you understand anything they’re saying?” I says.

Why is it in first person again? Nevermind, I should go see the Heathers, and hopefully they aren’t as crazy. Jesus, orbs is already terrible, orbeezo? Really? I think she’s enjoying all of the reader’s tears, from this weird narrator and DJ.

Verbonica arrivesed at Westervurg Heightschool. She seed the Heathenserd. Theys wered in Chandelier is Prosha. Chandelier ised within Duck and Macnaroni.

“Heather, do you know what’s going on? Everything has gone wrong and-”

“Cume on, thered nothed rong with this, Veronicum Soyer.” Chantler sayved.

“That’s a very wrong spelling of come and Veronica, very wrong. Soyer isn’t my last name “Chantler” Wait, you told me they weren’t crazy! For fuck sake, am I the only grammatically correct one here?”

“kwack, kwack.” Quaksey Waxy Ducksy saidsy.

Velonica letted outs and sighy.

“You can’t even spell quack correctly. Let me guess, “Heathener Macnaroni” also has terrible grammar.” Ronieca growned.

“Your are cutestness. I likesed you bery muchy.” Heathensers Macnaroni siad.

“Well, at least Mac is still cute, c’mon, we should head inside.” Romernica telled, befores goesing insided.

Than she was sawed Court and Gram.

Ronni laughsed hardester. Liked in Myriades mument wit DJ.

“Court and Gram? Don’t change their names, that’s amazing!”

The Heatheners walkered pasted them, and DJ wented to hanged outie with teh losed squady. Somewhy, Vernocina and the Heatheners dids knot haves glases. So, theys coulds do whatevery theys wantered.

“They meant classes, not “glases.” Eh, at least we don’t have to learn shit. God, what chaos is about to happen?” Vernoilica saided, befores getteds pushinged buys Anny Bolyeny-

“NO, this isn’t becoming a crossover, right? Yeah...you just shot her, right in front of my eyes. Please don’t describe it in bad English, she’s already dead.”

Anny Bolyeny was lieying hear death, form been shotted by a unnowned beeing. She is wasp dissappearr.

“This day couldn’t get any worse.” Velionica saids.

Suddenedly Court and Gram apeered agains froms knowwhere.

“You make my _broilers_ so blue!” Their bath said.

“I don’t know how to fix your broiler, how did it turn blue?” Vero _non-stop_ ica tolled them.

Suddenasly, they bath fainted. Auther hatesed writing them, so she killsed andother peorson. Oh waiter, their juicest unconshious.

“They should be dead, but I don’t think she wants to kill another person. Hmm, why do I see something getting thrown at us? OH GOD!”

A geeiatine coulds beeinged seen throwned buy a persons. Well, actully it was...Goast Anny Boleyny. She threwed the geeatine and wasp aiminged for Court and Gram. ohs nose.

A screen coulds be herd cumeing from teh too of them. They’re heads flunged off and flyed away. Blood wented everwhere, and covereds they’re necks. Teh neccs thats now haves know neck. Thens they dissappearredd.

“They deserved all of that, right? Heatheners, what do you think?” Velocitinica assks.

“Kwack, rapeest are bad.”

“COURT ANT GRAM DESERVSED TO DYE, I HATESED THEMS SO MUCHY!” Macnaroni saided.

“Well...How about you Chandelier/Chantler.”

“...rapeast were truggering to meself. Thank godness they dyed.”

“That got a bit dark at the end, but hey, this couldn’t get any worse. I mean...wait, WHERE DID DJ GO?”

DJ a ppeared. He haded bom in hand, wif tighmer about to starty.

“I an damageds. For two damages. But-”

“I’m running, see you later Heatheners!” Verlockina saidsy.

“Our love is OWO. Our love is OWO. UWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU **PLZKUDOS** JFNDICNDK **CURSED** JFIDNFIENFIDCIENFIFJEHFI<3.”

_BOOMER._

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://um-l0l.tumblr.com)


End file.
